When Will You Return?

 

 

 

Look how long that I have waited

None of the live versions hit the right tone...

I Want to See You Dance Again

And In Your Ears and In Your Tongue You're Deaf and You're Done

Or you can sing your silent requiem all night
When you go blind

I Slow My Steps and Start To Blur

I Mean, She Was Steamin'

Last night I played pool with an Irishman and talked Thin Lizzy.

Life can be perfect.

He Never Saw My Heart

What I get when the sun hasn't even risen....

 

I never saw the mornin' 'til I stayed up all night
I never saw the sunshine 'til you turned out the light
I never saw my hometown until I stayed away too long
I never heard the melody until I needed the song

I never saw the white line 'til I was leavin' you behind
I never knew I needed you until I was caught up in a bind
I never spoke "I love you" 'til I cursed you in vain
I never felt my heart strings until I nearly went insane

I never saw the east coast until I moved to the west
I never saw the moonlight until it shone off of your breast
I never saw your heart until someone tried to steal it, tried to steal it away
I never saw your tears until they rolled down your face

I never saw the mornin' 'til I stayed up all night
I never saw the sunshine 'til you turned out your love light babe
I never saw my hometown until I stayed away too long

I never heard the melody until I needed the song

 

-Tom Waits

Me + D = Irresistible Force Paradox

The unstoppable force paradox, also called the irresistible force paradox, shield and spear paradox, is a classic paradox formulated as "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?" The immovable object and the unstoppable force are both implicitly assumed to be indestructible, or else the question would have a trivial resolution. Furthermore, it is assumed that they are two entities.
The paradox arises because it rests on two incompatible premises: that there can exist simultaneously such things as unstoppable forces and immovable objects. The "paradox" is flawed because if there exists an unstoppable force, it follows logically that there cannot be any such thing as an immovable object and vice versa. 

Mike Alder (2004). "Newton's Flaming Laser Sword". Philosophy Now. 46:

 

Oh Love.

Love, look what you've done to me

Never thought I'd fall again so easily

Oh, love, you wouldn't lie to me

Leading me to feel this way

- Boz Scaggs

A new journey is upon me.

I have found love in two places.

One old, familiar, deep safe and all encompassing. 

One young, stirring, unexpected and intriguing.

Never being less than selfish, I am going to try a new route.

One of polyamory.

I have been in love with D for years. We have had waves of insanity.

Waves of deep love and deep loathe.

When the going is good, it is like no other.

When the going is bad, run for cover, the earth is scorched.

We are  kindred spirits.

I saddled up next to T, while he was sitting alone at the bar at local hangout.

Me having little restraint, 

noticed he was alone and just so cute had immediately requested a slow dance.  

His thick NY accent and acceptance of my silly slow dance proposal knocked me out. 

D and I had put 3 years of dating to rest and I felt like a kid in a candy shop,

yet the feeling of remorse was strong and conflicting.

T was here for 6 weeks, then was shipped out to Bahrain.

While he was gone, D decided to change his life trajectory.

Which included the repair of all I had destroyed.

While D's aim was true, T's intent was also crystal clear.

"I am returning back to SD, and I am returning to you"

The roller coaster had begun to leave the station.

I saw you...... Comin' back to me

The summer had inhaled and held its breath too long 

The winter looked the same, as if it never had gone 

And through an open window where no curtain hung 

I saw you 

I saw you

Comin' back to me

I'm Your Biggest Fan

As With the Pixies

I didn't get on that band wagon until Frank started putting out records with the Mescaleros.  Then I went balls deep.  Trompe le Monde blew me the F away, and Frank became my hero for a good chunk of a decade.

But the funny part is, in their heyday, and my teens, I just couldn't dig it.  Perhaps, I was just too hardcore, she says facetiously.

Same story, different decades.  I have never been a Neil Young fan.  Yes, it is understood where he sits in the pantheon of music worship, and have always been again, balls deep into Stephen Stills, but nope, no Neil for me.  A southern man don't need him around any how.

BUT HOLY FUCK BATMAN.  I cannot get this out of my head, I drive with it blaring on repeat. I may have to come forth and admit my Neil Young fandom.

Old enough now to change your name
When so many love you is it the same?
It's the woman in you
That makes you want to play this game

/swoon

F*cking Jimmy Page, Man

Stay

And Something in You Starts to Tear

It Brings You Back To Me..

There's nothing in life that'll burn your eyes
So you sit on a rug and fantasize
Well maybe I'm wrong but I do my best
And once in a while I get some rest

Ride the blue wind free
It brings you back to me
Always be mine

Just Say You'll Love Me, Just Say You'll Love Me

When she wept, I left come over my head
About, oh the feelings
And she wept, hold me again, I made no sound, oh repeating
And she swore love has never come so easily

And we went over again, my head about, oh the feeling

 

 

Throwing in a Throw Back

Be a Do Right All Night Man

Ace at Winstons & a Wonderful Life

 Somedays are just perfectly beautiful.  Yesterday, it was hot all balls so I grabbed beach cruiser and Dicks, and we raced off to the Stick for a bloody mary and a mahi taco.  My stomach groaned when I watched ALL the stuff plus the kitchen sink he put in that drink, but to my delight, it was good.  I groaned when he said they were out of mahi, but to my delight, the chicken was not bad.  The ranch dressing recipe changed I think.   That would piss Ryan off.  I overheard someone ask if they could have just "mahi" instead of "mahi mahi" and that make me giggle.

We headed to the beach, where there temperature came down and the water was so warm, and so full of seaweed.  Dicks can do handstands in between sets of waves.  While I am just trying to manage my fear of being stung by something.  After margaritas and shrimps at Southbeach, some street kid asked Dicks if she wanted to hear a Green Day song, we later decided he was a hustler and noticed her smaller Green Day tattoo on her leg and was just reading her, hustler!

Tonys would let us in with our waterbottles, so fuck them. There was a delightful surprise at Winstons,  old man cover band was playing at it fit the mood perfectly, they started up with "The Breakup Song" by Greg Kihn when I walked in.  Welp, no "She  just don't ride like that any more"

Jello shots are not for the 40+ crowd, as I'm clueless to getting this crap outta here!  Dick's 80 year old boyfriend, Ace made an appearance.  There is hope for us all, this man, bless his heart, comes in using a walker, then proceeds to spin every lady around on the dance floor to Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Dicks loves this guy, I have seen her leave the bar to walk him home at night.  Ace showed her his phone, where he has her number saved, along with details about her, where she's from, how long she's been married, and what her boys do for hobbies.  What a sweet old guy.

Sometimes, I just think about how lucky I am.

I Know I Love You Better

I got your pin shot
I keep it with your letter
Done up in blueprint blue
It sure looks good on you
So won't you smile for the camera
I know I'll love you better

I'm an Mannish Boy - Bridging the Gap

Everything gonna be alright this mornin'
Now, when I was a young boy
At the age of five
My mother said I was gonna be
The greatest man alive

No Church In the Wild

Human beings in a mob
What's a mob to a king?
What's a king to a god?
What's a god to a non-believer?

Who don't believe in anything?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Francois

One day, he will be am addition to my life, 

when he's cute he'll be Frankie 

and when he's a jerk, he'll be Frank, 

and when he'd dapper, he'll be Francois.

No Sweeping Exit

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you've decided to show me the same
No sweeping exit or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Three Questions

Three Questions

What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude

It was like being exhumed, i answered.  And brought to life in a flash of brilliance.

What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy

It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied.  To be heard after a lifetime of silence.

What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow

There was a long pause before I responded.

It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me, said all at once.

-Lang Leav

What's the Point of Life?

/Swoon

Nadia Bolz-Weber

http://www.nadiabolzweber.com/
Next trip to Denver, I'm so there!

But Love is Worth Another Try

My mother, she told me
She knew when she looked in his eyes
Both of them traded their love for a moment in time
'cause things, they change and people lie
I hope that I can sleep tonight
My sister, she told me
She knew when she looked in his eyes
All seems to be better now that she felt butterflies
'cause things, they change and people lie
Just tell me that we'll be alright
Don't you go
Don't you go and change for me
Don't you go and change for me
Change for me
My father said it was all gone in the blink of an eye
If he went back all those years then he wouldn't think twice
'cause things, they change and people lie
But love is worth another try
So don't you go
Don't you go and change for me
Don't you go and change for me
Change for me
Don't you know
Don't you know you're made for me
Don't you know you're made for me
You're made for me
My mother, she told me
I'd know when I looked in your eyes
I'd say I certainly did not doubt her in my mind
'cause things, they changed I hear them say
Just tell me that they'll stay the same

Will It Be My Heart or Will It Be His?

Nevermind About That Rose Garden

I guess I wasn't promised anything.

That There Was More Out There

This Loneliness Inside, Darling

Lonely nights echo your name
Oh, sometimes I wonder
Will I ever be the same?

Leaving Me Behind

If you ever change your mind
About leaving, leaving me behind
Oh, oh, bring it to me
Bring your sweet loving
Bring it on home to me

So Long

She couldn't dance but she wanted to

She couldn't sing but for a sigh

They all said slip out on the side if you like

There's no way that you ain't earned the right

She was always up before the light

So she could gather herself before then

Besides things were so much quieter at that time

Before the hum and the buzz and the whine

She should dance if she wants to dance

She considers the rising of the sun

She considers what may happen should she run

Would the world fall apart as we know it

Would she really be able to make a go of it

She just wanted to have her own song

Just to leave just to go, say so long

She should dance if she wants to dance

Julian Casablanca FTW!

A Star is Born

So Stoked!

Darlin, Its No Crime

I know that the night brings you down on your own knife,
but it's alright, darling, it's no crime
Better yourself know that got lost thou shalt,
but it's all good, darling it's no crime
I never thought I could be so happy,
I'm looking on it from the inside out,
given the right of circumstances
it could be safe to say you're so misunderstood
darling it's no crime you got it in your head
that the best is behind of you darling that's not right
I never thought I could be so happy, I'm looking on it from the inside out,
given the right of circumstances
it could be safe to say, darling it's no crime
Hands in the garden, cause in the future,
this will all come around to my country house,
with your hands in the garden, cause in the future,
this will all be??? in that country house,
Hands in the garden, cause in the future,
this will all come around to my country house,
with your hands in the garden, cause in the future,
this will all be??? in that country house, I never thought I could be so happy,
I'm looking on it from the inside out, given the right of circumstances
it could be safe to say, that darling it's no crime

Javier accused me of being selfish.

Its true. I am.

He has always been a dick, pointing out truths, 

as well as crap.

What is wrong with making sure your happiness is #1?

Darling, is it a crime? 

How long do you stay stationary?

In a holding pattern?

Terribly hard to equate the feelings to words.

Seattle - BotB XI

We headed up to  Monroe by way of Seattle for Shea to play in her 4th Battle on the Bank.

We stayed in Hotel Hotel, a hostel in the Fremont area.

And visited the Space Needle

Excellent Playlist

The Cure of 2018

Kai from Rockaway

Make Me Wanna Die

I Question Everything

Oh Merrill

I got us tickets to celebrate our 3 year anniversary and your birthday.

During dinner, it felt like you had zero interest in either.

It would have been nice to discuss our relationship and where we are going.

Nope.

Nothing.

You offered nothing.

Yet, all I can think of is that its my fault.

That is just how you are.

 

 

And You Said No

As we were 17 days from our 3rd year anniversary, I drank 2 pitchers of Sangria at the Voltaire Beach House and worked up the nerve to ask you if you wanted to start the discussion, just START the possibility of domesticating, of moving in together.

Seeing how you have been pretty much living at my house anyway.

The actual act would not happen for over another year.

And you said no.

And I sat on that.

I slept with that for another 3 months.

I let that marinate.

Any here we are, and you want me to explain.

The Post

A rare time I could get D3 to the movies with me.

Bring It On 2018

Looking forward to 2018 with gusto! I am going to make to doctor appts, go to league practice, take a new class. Try and start again. Life just seems to be all about starting all over again.

We did start off NYE right with champagne at Dicks. As per usual.

Shannon and The Clams

I, Tonya

All the love for Allison Janey!